The Christmas Generosity Game

I don't have any extremely horrible or crazy memories of Christmases past, (well except that one Christmas when the fish tank broke, spewed water overnight and got into the red tree stand cover which made our living room look like a bloodbath for a hot minute) but I could never put my finger on why I didn't like listening to Christmas carols on the radio during this time of year. Honestly, they always made me kind of sad and I couldn't figure out why.

This year though, I think I have stumbled upon why. As I struggle with my unwillingness to buy my daughter a $150 robot dog toy, I've drawn closer to what I have always struggled with during Christmas - the generosity game. As a young adult, Christmas almost always seemed about who could outdo one another with gift giving and I was never comfortable with that.

I'm cheap. I'm frugal. And, gift giving is NOT my strong suit. It genuinely makes me feel uncomfortable that if I spend $200 on a gift for you, I must think really highly of you, but it makes me feel like a show off. But, if I only spend $20 on you, then I'm some kind of Scrooge and maybe everybody knows it. So, there it is. In full disclosure: not because the economy is hard, not because I don't have enough this year - I NEVER like spending a lot of money on gifts.

Don't get me wrong. You need help? I'm there. I wouldn't bat an eye to help someone financially if there was a need because I always save money for a rainy day. But, I've never been unflinchingly generous when it comes to just giving a gift. I've battled this, every Christmas, for years, while other folks knock each other over for Christmas stuff on Black Friday.

For me, Christmas carols just seem to crystallize this idea that for 3-4 weeks, everyone is "in great spirits and extra generous" and as soon as Christmas 26th rolls around, it's back to the usual. I think I see fakeness in just plastering music and gifts and not carrying that spirit over for the rest of the year. And, I see an inner condemnation of myself, that maybe I'm not as generous as I should be. That maybe I am a terrible person, because I cannot, will not, get somebody a $150 gift, unless it was something that was practical and needed anyway (and, yes, on sale).

Folks have always complained about Christmas being so expensive and stressful. I always spent well within a budget and did not get really ostentatious gifts. Safe and boring, perhaps, but I didn't break the bank to fit the image of what Christmas should be. Many folks even define Christmas by how their funding for Christmas is going to be. It's going to be a "bad Christmas" if you got laid off or a pay cut. It's going to be a "good Christmas" if you got a raise or a promotion. Not only that, you have the generosity game that you have to play. Did you get a gift for everyone? Did you think about the mailman and your co-workers? Me? Yes, but not in terms of gift shopping. A "Merry Christmas" greeting should suffice, and no, I'm not getting a bunch of people presents because I'm "supposed" to. So there it is: I'm kind of like a Grinch in this worldly Christmas society. The Christmas carols remind me that the generosity game is starting again and I have to be strong enough not to compete.

Why do we get people gifts in the first place? Is it because Christmas reminds us of a gift that we have the chance to receive that is better than anything we can imagine? Is it because the generosity of God's own son Jesus makes everyone so thankful that they have to celebrate with gifts? Perhaps. But if people don't see Jesus, then the gift giving seems like a shallow waste of time to me.

Jesus came as a baby, to become our deliverer. That is the Christmas story. He came as a baby, lived a sinless life, then died to pay for our sins. If we believe in Him, we have the opportunity to spend eternity with Him in heaven. Why did He have to die and why did I need to be forgiven? Because none of us is righteous. We've all done something evil, whether it was lying, stealing or even having hatred in our hearts. And we are all guilty. God is so pure and holy, that He can't have anything to do with us in this state. Based on whether we've all lived a good life, we are all condemned. And, that is why the greatest gift, Jesus, came. He died for our sins, so that in Him, God would see us and see the goodness and purity of Jesus instead of our convicted hearts. It's the gift that keeps on giving.

So, for me, whether I give you a $150 toy or a $10 box of chocolates, the real Christmas story is the same. That is the most important gift I can share, that Jesus loved all of us so much that anyone who trusts in Him will have eternal life in Heaven. And, no, I am not getting that $150 dollar toy. She'll get the $40 cat, which is cuddly, purrs and only does 3 tricks instead of 30. She'll be disappointed that she didn't get the "expensive" gift. And, she'll learn, hopefully from me, that the most important gift anyone could get, was born in a manger more than two thousand years ago.

Good Grief - A Pathway to Hope

Scene from Pixar's UP

Everything worked out amazingly well - or at least, way better than I expected.  We had reached a fair and equitable settlement agreement, and avoided a lengthy trial in a matter that should have brought tremendous relief.  But when I saw my lawyer's email, with the subject line of "Congratulations!", I was overwhelmed with an almost suffocating sadness.

It surprised and shocked me how sad I was.  The last 18 months, going through a separation and divorce, culminated in a way that left me fairly intact, independent and thankful.  So why was I sad?  I did not want to get remarried.  I started a great job and though my finances took a severe beating, I was left with the ability to re-title and retain the home my children and I currently lived in.  I certainly wouldn't be leading a lavish lifestyle, but my needs were taken care of. Given the circumstances, I felt blessed.

As the theme of Up reverberated in my head, ("Things We Did" would end up playing in my head, nonstop, for at least three days....), the only word I could come up with was: Grief.  It didn't seem to make sense though.  I processed all my grief at my DivorceCare sessions.  I worked through all my challenges and stayed strong.  Initially, I figured it was still nerves at having to still appear before a judge the next day to formalize things.

But after the half-hour court appearance drew to a close, the sadness didn't dissipate. As I shared a time of camraderie with my lawyer and my witness (and my BFF) afterward, I was internally nostalgic.  It was almost like when Catcher in the Rye's Holden Caulfield starting missing the bouncer, Maurice, who beat him up, when Holden left private school.  Instead of feeling better after the trial, the grief was still there, its tentacles wrapping around my heart.

The next morning, I realized what I didn't have time to process before.  I was so busy taking care of the externals, making sure the kids were OK, giving them time to transition and grieve, finding a job, holding down the fort, grappling with new responsibilities and keeping strong that I never really processed my emotions for all the junk I went through. I wasn't able to "go there" because I needed to stay focused and take care of business.

Now it seemed, my subconscious was telling me that now that the externals are fixed, it's time to take care of the inside.  And it would not let go.  I was a walking basket case, crying in sudden fits and unable to contain myself. I was so grief-stricken and unable to concentrate that I met with my boss that morning, explained that I was in a grieving process now that my divorce was finalized and that I needed some personal time (half-days off work for the next two days, until the weekend), so I could have time to process.  I knew "everything was going to be OK", but I needed time and space to grieve.  I needed to be able to cry my eyes out, without anybody whispering platitudes or feeling sorry for me.

A typical project manager, I scheduled my grief.  I worked half days for the rest of the week, so I could accomplish a few tasks, then go off and fall apart in private.  I didn't trust myself to take whole days off, lest I fall into an abyss and not be able to recover.  It seemed kind of nutty, but it was really clear how much I needed that space.  By allowing myself to acknowledge that it's going to be emotionally hard for a while and that it's OK to feel that way, it brought me out of total despair.

Isn't it ironic?  The only way to get rid of the grief is to process it head on.  Instead of stoically soldiering on with a "stiff upper lip" pretending it doesn't hurt, the strongest, wisest thing to do when in despair is to acknowledge it and allow yourself to experience it.  I call this good grief.

The weekend after my emotional breakdown, I just spent a lot of time listening to music, talking to myself and God and embracing the pain of the things I lost and maybe never had.  I spent a lot of time wandering through a small town across the bridge so I wouldn't have to run into folks I knew and "explain things".  I didn't have to pretend everything was OK and I spent a lot of time alone so I could process all the junk in my heart.  I also avoided making any big decisions, well except the refinancing of my house, which prompted the visit to the small tourist town in the first place.

I must be clear that this is not a pity party.  This is not a time to wallow in hopelessness and cry out "Why me?"  It's a temporary time to express your pain and allow yourself to feel sad about something and to be OK with "this hurts!".

The grief will still be there, in drips and drabs.  But, at least having some space clears your mind to focus on recovery and other things when you are good and ready.  It is really important to re-engage with life slowly.  Check in with a friend or have an accountability partner that you feel comfortable talking to.  Avoid making drastic changes if you can avoid it.  Reduce any extra activities and hold off on taking on more commitments.

The only grief that is insurmountable is the grief we refuse to acknowledge.  Getting in touch with the pain helps it start to go away.

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"... provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair."
- Isaiah 61:3a (NIV)

The Men in My Life

It's Valentine's Day, and as a freshly minted single person, the typical niceties of this holiday will not fly by my radar this year.  As tempting as it could be to be sad, bitter and resentful, I just can't do it.

Even though I won't get a box of chocolates or another sweet surprise from a "significant other", I am thankful for the men in my life.  Over the past year, these "Mr. Rights" have proven time and again, that there are some good fish in the sea.  Men are not all jerks, and I have to give credit where it is due.  It has been really striking to me to see the number of men that have graciously rallied their support for me and my kids during the last year and I know it's no coincidence.

So, this Valentine's Day, I just want to commemorate the fabulous men that God has placed in my life, for the express purpose of validating the hope I have.  There are some amazing men out there that prove that chivalry is not dead, so I figure I'd recognize them on this holiday.  (Especially since I won't be out on a date anywhere!)  And, so as not to embarrass anyone too terribly, I won't get into full names.

Matt is my financial advisor.  I've been with him since 2003, when I applied for a "dream job" that I didn't get.  While the job didn't pan out (good thing, because I became a mom a year later...) Matt's wise financial counsel has helped me make the adjustment from dual income no kids, to 3 kids, to riding the storm of being a single, unemployed mom.  We just had a conversation the other day, which waxed philosophical, because we share similar beliefs.  And, he's from the old school of proactively watching his accounts instead of just collecting more and more clients.  He's moved from one place to another, but I'll go wherever he goes, because his advice has always been rock solid.

Thomas is my lawyer.  And, yes, while it is awful that I even need a lawyer, you'll never find a more personable, authentic advocate.  In Spanish, the word for lawyer is abogado - "advocate" and Thomas has done it in spades.  Since he was a teacher before he was a lawyer, he makes sure to explain things in a way that you can understand it.  His empathy is enough to get you going, but does not cloud his professional judgement, which is based on a strong sense of ethics.

Brian is one of my Pastors.  He's also a diehard Yankees fan living in Maryland, so he immediately has both my camraderie and sympathy as a kindred spirit.  Brian led me through the very painful process of confronting conflict through peacemaking and it was not easy.  He was able to work with me to assess my areas of accountability and keep me focused on Christ and not anger.  Relatively speaking, Brian is a "younger pastor", but he's lived through enough trials on his own that reveal to me his great faith and ability to empathize with others.

Skip is my boss.  Before you accuse me of trying to flatter for personal gain, I'll just tell you why, in just a short time, I know he's one of the best bosses I've ever had.  In my interview (mind you, I'd been a stay at home mom for the last nine years), I told the interview panel that my family is my first priority and that might affect my availability during odd hours and such.  He was visibly affected during the interview.  He didn't say it then, and the tell was but a glimpse, but I saw that he got it.  Afterward, he encouraged me to establish a good work/life balance so my family could come first.  On my first day, he gave me a tour.  He couldn't tell you where we went or which parts of the building I saw (my job is to manage the buildings), but he made a point of introducing me to everyone he saw.  A true people person who is passionate about his organization - right up my alley.

Patrick is my best friend's hubby.  While he does his best to portray a very irritated obnoxious bully, his actions betray him.  He's always been willing to lend a hand, fixed my sump pump and let me borrow tools.  And while he'll nag me and pester me to return his things, I know, that without him admitting it, he's got my back.  He's one of the few of my friends' husbands that will actually chill out with us and join our conversations. 

Bill is another one of my Pastors.  Each quarter, our church has adult Sunday School.  There are three to four classes that you can pick from and it's great to go to Sunday School before church.  No doubt, the other classes are very informative and enriching, but I just go to "Bill's class", regardless of the topic.  It's one of the few classes that has a time of heartfelt sharing and prayer among participants (and coffee and donuts)!  Bill's heart for everyone around him is contagious.  There is no condemnation or judgement, but love and understanding as he shares about the Great Hope he has.

Carl is the Chief Ranger for the Christian Service Brigade, a group for boys to learn about being Godly leaders.  Carl graciously brings my oldest son home every week after their Stockade meeting and takes him along with his boys for an evening jaunt to McD's on the way home.  My son is getting the benefit of seeing a Christian role model who genuinely enjoys my son's zany humor, gazillion questions and amazing intellect.  An esteemed scientist and director of a data mining company, Carl thought it was awesome that my son could intuitively ascertain the pattern of the Fibonacci sequence on a napkin without prompting.  Who knew!?

Glenn is my third Pastor.  Certainly not the least in the bunch, he is the Senior Pastor and works with my other two pastors.  (I'm blessed with three awesome Pastors!)  A confirmed agnostic who found Christ in college, Glenn has a great way of presenting his teachings in a visual way and lifting out amazing nuggets of truth in the Bible.  He is proof that you don't have to check your brains at the door to have faith. 

This is certainly not an all inclusive list, but I have to stop somewhere.  It's awesome to have so many men in my life that have been there for me even though I'm single.  God has shown me in a very touching way that I am not defined by my social status.  I don't have to wait until I "find someone" to be complete.  And, He's guiding me through, with a few angels by my side.

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For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

The Human Trinity

Easter is a time to celebrate the resurrection of Christ.

It's also a time to remember the human trinity:

I am Judas.
Did my own thing and went my own way.
Handed Christ over on a very dark day.

I am Barabbas.
Imprisoned and guilty, that was me.
Christ took my place and set me free.

I am Simon of Cyrene.
It wasn't my plan but I carried the cross
As I walked, I labored and shared in the loss


A sinner I am and my fate is quite bleak,
Unless I rely on a Savior, I'm weak.
I've been given a gift that I don't deserve,
So Christ must come first, He's the one I will serve.

I am indebted to Christ, who gave up His life on earth so I could share mine with Him in heaven.  I am also inspired by Pastor Bill Evans, who shared how these characters in the Passion Story two thousand years ago are living parables for us today.

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For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. - John 3:16

Real Democracy For the People

Today was a momentous day in my small, fledgling foray into the world of politics.  On Maryland Day, Start School Later witnessed history, with legislation successfully passing the House of Representatives to start the conversation on the long-standing problem of early school start times in public high schools.

I could go on and on about how thrilled I am about the Bill passing and moving onto the Senate.  But, really, what I'm really inspired about is the fact that anyone, with hard work, tenacity, and a bit of know-how, can get started and influence decision-makers in this country to enact laws.

I was able to witness the House in Session, and being a political rube, I found the whole process fascinating.  Aside from the common perception that government is slow and ineffective, I really was able to observe a very methodical approach to lawmaking that allows for checks and balances.  While much of the proceedings may not have completely held my interest, there were some particularly moving aspects for me that I would never have appreciated if I wasn't there.

Imagine my surprise when the bell rang, the Session was called to order and over 100 people stood to pledge allegiance to the flag.  Of course, I promptly stood up and followed suit, happy that there was a flag in my line of sight that I could salute to. But, having not really done that since grammar school, it was amazing to see the pledge in action, with everyone, regardless of belief, position or background, affirming a common allegiance to our country.  Unlike a baseball game, where a song is played, every delegate stated the allegiance and it was quite moving to hear it and see it coming from adults and not children.  I was particularly captivated by a number of delegates who added a fervent "Amen!"  There was a certain reverence, not unlike the prayers Christians begin with to set the tone for church meetings.

The delegates were a mixed lot.  Young and old, from many ethnic backgrounds, from all walks of life.  These people were indeed our representatives, delegated to the task of representing their districts with the issues their constituents care about.  They were regular people, just doing their jobs.  It was particularly moving to me that the oldest running legislative building in our country is not far from the Market Place, the first stopping point of the transport of slaves from Africa in the 1700's.  Steeped in history and tradition, Annapolis harkens to a cruel time of the past, and while it's certainly far from perfect, a glimpse into how far we've come forward.

The fact that I, as a common citizen, can be privy to these proceedings, either by sitting in the gallery, or listening through a live online audio feed, makes governance that much more transparent.  During the announcements in the beginning of each Session, homage was paid to the holidays of Passover and Easter.  In Session I, the story of the Israelites getting safe passage out of Egypt and the LORD's protection was recounted and commemorated.  In Session II, the announcer commemorated the Christian observance of Easter and the hope for Messiah by reciting the Virgin Mary's prayer.

This reverence for the spiritual tradition of the law reminded me that public service is a civic responsibility to care for others.  This is real democracy in action.  I'm not naive enough to think that there are no flaws in our system of government.  But, compared to other countries, where people do not have a say about how laws are enacted, or who gets assigned to help shape the laws in the first place, our democracy is something that can be grasped and experienced.  I treasure it as a gift that our insightful forefathers blessed us with.

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Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keeps the law, happy is he. 
- Proverbs 29:18
 

The Cow Conspiracy

Those who have known me since I was a child will find what I am about to write hard to believe.  As a kid, I was nicknamed "The Cow" because I was always the one caught drinking the last bit of milk.  While I maintained that in a family of seven, I just got the last dregs, or was "just finishing off the gallon", I was nonetheless accused of drinking all the milk, hence the name.

Reputation not withstanding, I have decided to cut cow's milk from my daily consumption.  Rest assured, I have not fallen and hit my head.  It's true.  Perhaps it was the cabin fever of too many sick kids for too long a time (at least one person was sick for a three week stretch this February) that gave me pause to think about this.  However, even though I didn't conduct any scientific, clinical trials, it occurred to me that this winter was particularly rough for my brood with ear infections, a near brush with pneumonia and a funky stomach bug that seemingly plagued the whole state of Maryland all at once.

Last year, my kids were hardly sick at all.  This year was tough and it was also the year my younger two went back on yogurt.  Last year, they all lost interest in it, so I stopped buying it.  This year, my younger two wanted it again, so we started again with a daily smoothie that they've had since they were weaned from breastmilk.  I would've considered it a coincidence.  But, then my childhood came back to me.  I suffered from chronic ear infections and asthma as a kid and was the only one in my family that did.  And last year, aside from a few small colds and fevers, my kids were healthy.

The common denominator in all this is milk consumption.  My oldest stopped drinking yogurt, and while he is the healthiest of the bunch and loves milk, he had less dairy than his younger siblings. 

Now, think about it.  What other species do you know of that drinks the milk from another species?  You got it - none of them.  Humans are the only species that process the milk of other animals for their own consumption.  If you think too much about it, it shoud start to creep you out.

Guess what else?  The largest consumer of antibiotics are.... livestock and poultry.  Ewwwwww.
In the food documentary, Forks Over Knives, they explained the impact of an animal based diet.  They also went on to explain that while cows eat grass by design, they are typically fed corn because it plumps them up and it's fairly cheap filler food.  When corn prices go up, cows have been fed any number of odd things, such as leftover chips, scraps and other things mixed into a slurry.
 
Cows have a hard time digesting that stuff, so they give them hormones and antibiotics as well.  Which is most assuredly being passed into the meat we eat and the milk we drink.  I'm officially freaked out now.

I noticed after I lost weight and had kids that my seasonal allergies abated and I can count the times I've used my inhaler on two hands in 8 years, with the exception of when I had bronchitis, an allergic trigger to pets or pneumonia, since then.  (And, yes, I've had bronchitis every time I had a very young baby, got a cold and was severely sleep deprived).  I was relatively healthy, so I've always thought it was some kind of motherhood immunity.  But, now I realized that I also cut down my milk consumption, simply because it was too calorie rich for my weight loss goals.

This is the cow conspiracy.  We've been lulled into thinking that ear infections, respiratory ailments and allergies are a rite of passage for youth.  Antibiotics are a necessary evil.  And, now, the first question you get asked when your kid gets sick is, "Did you get the flu shot?"  The medicalization of our health is now expected, reasonable and customary.  Really? This is how it's supposed to be?  Allergy rates for common foods (milk, peanuts, eggs) are skyrocketing.  Are you connecting the dots yet?

We are undergoing a massive autoimmune deficiency response to these foods.  Our bodies are rejecting these foods and rebelling.  Now, I'm not going to say I can totally go vegan or plant powered immediately.  There will be no dramatic dumping of all these terrible foods, at least not just yet.

But for now, I am cutting yogurt and cow's milk from our family's diet.  I have not had milk in two weeks and I don't miss it.  Almond milk is becoming more widely available and has a good taste and texture.  It's also loaded with protein, calcium, vitamin E and antioxidants.  It is more expensive, but I don't plan on chugging lots of the stuff, just a cup or two a day.  Even diluted with a bit of water, I could conceivably stretch it out and make it comparable cost wise to cow's milk.  But, for now, the health benefits of switching make it a worthy investment.

Maribel Ibrahim, The Frugal Writer, created www.StartSchoolLater.net and is the Director of Strategic Planning for Start School Later, Inc., a grassroots non-profit organization dedicated to ensuring that the health, safety and equity of children are protected when determining school start times.  Start School Later now has 11 local chapters, working in communities across the country to protect the sleep needs of public school students.   Follow Maribel on Twitter at @TheFrugalWriter or connect with her on LinkedIn.

Asleep at the Wheel

I had every intention of writing a post to update our audience on what's going on with Start School Later.  However, what came crashing through my driveway Wednesday, literally, has compelled me yet again to stop in my tracks and make an urgent plea: 

When are we going to wake up? 

When are we going to stop this roller coaster life long enough to realize that we need to stop putting our heads in the sand and wish away our problems?

When are we going to stop accepting that how we live is normal and that we shouldn't expect better?

When are we going to start putting health and safety first instead of wrestling with budget line items and the inconveniences of modern life spinning wildly out of control?

The picture I posted is what I took this morning, next to my mailbox.  If that car chose to lose control an hour earlier, twenty minutes earlier or an hour later, this would be a different post and the news would be much worse.

My insides are still tense at the thought, and I am thankful that while the front of my house is literally surrounded by live wires, we are all safe (and I'm at the Starbucks, waiting to pick up my kids from school...).

This is the third accident in as many months.  In December, some poor soul plowed into my tree, barely missing the utility pole, because he had to swerve away from an oncoming car that lost control.  This past fall, my next door neighbor's utility pole took a hit when an out of control car hit it, knocking out everyone's power in the next 5 miles for most of the day.

While I'm thankful there were no fatalities in all these wrecks, it wasn't because the accidents were fender benders.  It's because, thankfully, no one happened to be out in at the exact time of impact.  We are playing roulette with this road.

B&A Blvd is a state road (Route 648), which has a speed limit of 45 MPH and zero traffic lights from Lower Magothy Bridge Road all the way to Ritchie Highway.  The road is packed during peak hours (I can set my watch to the standstill of cars at 5:30pm every week day).  And, some folks may not realize, that this highway is also a RESIDENTIAL road.  People reside right on Baltimore Annapolis Boulevard.  I live right there - not  tucked away in a cul de sac or community development.

I cannot tell you how many times I see and hear the bus drivers, frantically leaning on their horns to get cars to slow down because the buses are coming to a stop and attempting to pick up school children.  My children.  Your children.

With the recesssion, there have been more pedestrians (not to mention runners and bikers) on this road than ever before. 

The solution is to put in a traffic light on B&A and Willet Road and slow down the speed limit. (The speed limit of a residential road is 25 MPH).  The fact that there is no traffic light on this curved stretch of open road with a high speed limit encourages fast driving.  Couple that with the fact there are no sidewalks and it is a recipe for disaster. 

I will be requesting a traffic light and a lowered speed limit on this road and will keep you updated on my progress.  When I mentioned this on Facebook, a friend, posted, "They won't do anything unless there are fatalities."  Sadly, it didn't take me long to pull up a fatality on this same stretch of road.

We are a nation asleep at the wheel.  The state of sleep deprivation is so rampant that hardly anyone can get on without a few cups of coffee.  Step into the Walgreen's and you'll see two aisles dedicated to energy drinks, energy shots, pills, and gums, all of which are available to minors.

Sleepy's Mattress stores are multiplying like rabbits and the problem isn't our mattresses, it's that we have been lulled into thinking that 24 hour access to everything is a necessity and we can't rest.  It's no wonder we're busy getting addicted to sleep drugs like ambien and now have access to ZzzQuil instead of NyQuil, JUST to go to sleep.

It's no wonder that we tell our students they should just "suck it up" and take this kind of abuse, because they'll have to learn to cope with it as adults.  We save a few dollars and tell our students by our actions that they are just about as important as the recycling we leave on the curb during predawn hours.

I cannot leave well enough alone.  Just as I will campaign for traffic safety on my own street, I will continue to beat the drum for later school starts.  It's high time that we stop putting athletic programs, convenience and budget line items ahead of the health and safety of our students.

I shudder to think that while all four of the accidents I documented here happened during daylight hours, there are many that have happened during predawn hours across the country, as students figure out a way to get to school in the dark.

For a listing of accidents and fatalities involving school students during predawn hours, look here.

If we invested $800,000 in transportation costs, that would be the equivalent of just under $11 per student in our system of 74,795 students.

With $11 per student, we could reduce sleep deprivation, which would then reduce obesity, depression, suicidal ideation, risky behaviors such as underage drinking and illegal drug use and crime.  Eleven dollars.  Are we going to continue to sit down and say that eliminating the cause of endangering our youth and restricting their ability to get the sleep they need is not feasible?

It's time to wake up.  Our kids deserve better.  We all deserve better. And, we are smart enough, inventive enough and more than able to work together as a community to fix this.

Maribel Ibrahim, The Frugal Writer, created www.StartSchoolLater.net and is the Director of Strategic Planning for Start School Later, Inc., a grassroots non-profit organization dedicated to ensuring that the health, safety and equity of children are protected when determining school start times.  Start School Later now has 11 local chapters, working in communities across the country to protect the sleep needs of public school students.  Most recently, the Howard County Chapter joined the effort to combat unhealthy school start times.