Chatter Brain, Motor Mouth

It has taken me a while to figure out that my brain, which only shuts off when I go to sleep (and even then, not so much) is not typical.  Many people have quiet, silent spaces between their thoughts.  I have no idea what that is like.

When I've asked people, "What are you thinking about?" I'd occasionally get "nothing".  Nothing?  Really?  The mind is always processing something, isn't it?   The chatter in my brain, which I've always taken for granted, is not common, apparently.  Whoops...

Since that revelation, I've gone on to get an assessment for Adult ADHD.  Medically, this is a growing development where adults are finally finding out that they have ADHD.  It is not adult onset ADHD.  The patient always had ADHD, it was just never diagnosed when they were kids.

For me, this is particularly telling, since I was diagnosed with ADHD without hyperactivity (formerly known as ADD).  In fact, most girls with ADHD are often undiagnosed, because they are not swinging from chandeliers or rappelling off bannisters when they are little.  They "behave" nicely in school and seldom get "in trouble". 

But it makes a lot of sense.

It's the reason that I will forget the groceries if they are in the back of the car.  Out of sight, out of mind, baby.  I have even walked in the house, talked to family members about my purchases and STILL forget to unload the van if the purchases are not on the passenger seat.

It's why I will get lost, or at the very least, make about 2 U-turns when I go to your house.  And, yes, I realize I've been there 5 times.  I actually factor in a U-turn allowance for trips.  And, yes, the GPS, one of the best Christmas presents I have ever received, is used daily to get to church, friends' houses and anyplace else.

It's why anytime I do ask for directions, after the second or third step, I have drifted off in my mind like a deer in the headlights and will not hear anything else.  (I've been known to stop and ask for directions five times when they are very complicated directions).

At a 3 minute stoplight, my brain has been firing thoughts nonstop.  It could seem like 20 minutes and when I snap out of it, I have a mild freak because for about 2 milliseconds, I forget where I am and where I'm going.

I will interrupt you and talk alot about myself.  It's not that I don't care about you.  Au contraire, I'm very interested, but I know I will forget what I was going to say if I don't just say it right then.

I do my best thinking when I'm in motion - working out, driving, etc.  Some of my best ideas come when I am in the shower or during a yoga class.  I guess these are the few times that there is only one conversation going on, the one in my head.  So yes, when I'm talking with you, I'm having two conversations.  This is also why interrupting just comes naturally to me.

In Russell Barkley's "Taking Charge of Your Child's ADHD", I was reading a case study to learn more about ADHD for my son.  It was amazing, because the little girl who talked nonstop could have been me.  That case study was me in grade school, exactly!  In fact, my nickname in school was "Motormouth Maribel".

I can do the work of 10 when it comes to productivity, but will eventually crash and burn with lethargy.  I've been able to get away with this, especially with work, because while I'm still vegging out, my counterparts are just starting to catch up again.

ADHD is also why there are some unexplained times why it will take an eternity for me to write a simple email, why I find myself researching the mysteries of reverse mortgages instead of paying the bills and why some very simple things can really take me a long time to do.

For me, ADHD has been more of a nuisance and a frustration.  For some, it is very debilitating trying to manage a brain that is firing out of control. While I am not taking any medication for it, the need for medication in many cases is very legitimate and very effective.  I can joke and laugh about it because I have unwittingly built up many coping strategies and support systems that allow me to be effective.

Knowing about ADHD allows me to finally acknowledge that I am not undisciplined or uncaring, I just have trouble filtering things out when I need to.  In getting a diagnosis as an adult, I have been able to be more forgiving of myself.  Instead of berating myself for getting lost yet again and wondering why "I can never seem to figure it out", I understand that this is just how I am wired.  Now, I know that I will peter out if I continue at a rapid-fire pace, so I consciously try to set boundaries, commit to less things and simplify wherever possible. 

I am a work in progress and still bite off more than I can chew.  But, now, at least I can start being more effective with the strengths I have instead of letting my weaknesses drag me down.

Maribel Ibrahim, The Frugal Writer, created www.StartSchoolLater.net and is a Co-Founder of Start School Later, Inc., a grassroots coalition dedicated to ensuring that the health, safety and equity of children are protected when determining school start times.  In fine ADHD style, she just made the cut and wrote this post in honor of September being ADHD Awareness Month.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

 

We’ve been back in school for a month.  As fall rolls in, so does the sleep deprived stupor that many of our public school students face as they grapple with early school start times.

There are some unsettling things we’ve found in our quest to educate the public about the need for healthier school start times.

At Start School Later,  we are dedicated to letting the general public know about the need to establish healthy school start times that do not conflict with the biological needs of students.  We’ve met with legislators, public officials, community members, parents and anyone else that will listen to our message. 

Ironically, a 7:17am start time does not seem to resonate with most folks that do not have high schoolers.  The impression is that this is the time students WAKE UP for school.  It doesn’t seem so bad to wake up in the seven o’clock hour, since most adults do it.

Our kids need to wake up at 5:30am or 6:00am to get ready and be AT school by 7:17am.  This is the eye-opener that most people do not understand about this problem.  

Most students get more sleep by sacrificing breakfast, passing up a shower or getting a ride instead of walking or catching a bus.  (They can’t go to bed earlier if they are getting home from sports events later than 9:00pm with homework waiting to be done).

As a sophisticated industrialized nation, we are sacrificing the basic needs of children to save a fast buck and maintain a system we are loathe to change.  What about the students that don’t have access to a car?  What about the students that have no choice but to walk to school in the dark, sometimes on busy, dark streets with no sidewalk and lots of traffic?

Most adults would not choose to stand outside on a pre-dawn corner to get a ride to work.  Yet, we ride by in our cozy cars and vans, passing many of our children who have to “report to work” earlier than most adults.

Somehow, we can jump through hoops when schools mandate early dismissals or sports schedules change, but we are not willing to consider collaborating in our communities for the long-term health, safety and equity of all of our public school students.

Hold on, there’s more.  Our magnet students face an even larger burden.  Because most of them are going to schools outside of their normal jurisdiction, they face longer bus rides.  And, ironically, instead of magnet programs starting on a different schedule, they start at 7:17am, forcing students to get to a centralized bus stop (which might require a longer walk, prior bus trip or car ride) even EARLIER than their mainstream counterparts.

In Anne Arundel County, MD, the #727 and #747 buses both make their first stop at 6:00am in order to service students that are in the Performing and Visual Arts High School program.  Bus #543 starts at 5:45am in order to service West County.  Bus #144, which serves the South County High STEM students, starts at 6:15am.  Bus #130 starts at 6:10am.

So, if you are a motivated individual excelling in school, you have to get there even earlier and travel farther than your sleepy “regular” contemporaries.  No good deed goes unpunished. 

Here’s the other kicker.  More economically advantaged students would just go to a private school or other specialty school outside of the public school system to hone their skills or prepare for their career. 

Many of our public school magnet students are coming from economically disadvantaged locations. They don’t have their own cars and may have to walk a mile to get to the bus stop.  Their parents are most likely to both have to work, leaving the student to fend for themselves without a convenient ride to school.  Is this the message that we want to send to our motivated students that want to excel?  That to work hard and perform well, you have to endure an even more demandingly sleepless schedule than your peers?

There is something severely broken in this system, when we continue to turn a blind eye to the basic health and safety needs of our youth and couch them as “character building” for when they “grow up”.  Let’s open our eyes and wake up to what we are really asking our youth to do.

Chime in below and tell us of your early morning sojourns.  How do the students in your family get to school?  Let’s get the conversation started, so we can get our heads out of the sand and start getting real.

Maribel Ibrahim, The Frugal Writer, created www.StartSchoolLater.net and is a Co-Founder of Start School Later, a grassroots coalition dedicated to ensuring that the health, safety and equity of children are protected when determining school start times.  Maribel’s Patch blog has recently been ranked in the Top 100 out of over 22,000 bloggers in the Patch network.