Friday, February 14, 2014

The Men in My Life

It's Valentine's Day, and as a freshly minted single person, the typical niceties of this holiday will not fly by my radar this year.  As tempting as it could be to be sad, bitter and resentful, I just can't do it.

Even though I won't get a box of chocolates or another sweet surprise from a "significant other", I am thankful for the men in my life.  Over the past year, these "Mr. Rights" have proven time and again, that there are some good fish in the sea.  Men are not all jerks, and I have to give credit where it is due.  It has been really striking to me to see the number of men that have graciously rallied their support for me and my kids during the last year and I know it's no coincidence.

So, this Valentine's Day, I just want to commemorate the fabulous men that God has placed in my life, for the express purpose of validating the hope I have.  There are some amazing men out there that prove that chivalry is not dead, so I figure I'd recognize them on this holiday.  (Especially since I won't be out on a date anywhere!)  And, so as not to embarrass anyone too terribly, I won't get into full names.

Matt is my financial advisor.  I've been with him since 2003, when I applied for a "dream job" that I didn't get.  While the job didn't pan out (good thing, because I became a mom a year later...) Matt's wise financial counsel has helped me make the adjustment from dual income no kids, to 3 kids, to riding the storm of being a single, unemployed mom.  We just had a conversation the other day, which waxed philosophical, because we share similar beliefs.  And, he's from the old school of proactively watching his accounts instead of just collecting more and more clients.  He's moved from one place to another, but I'll go wherever he goes, because his advice has always been rock solid.

Thomas is my lawyer.  And, yes, while it is awful that I even need a lawyer, you'll never find a more personable, authentic advocate.  In Spanish, the word for lawyer is abogado - "advocate" and Thomas has done it in spades.  Since he was a teacher before he was a lawyer, he makes sure to explain things in a way that you can understand it.  His empathy is enough to get you going, but does not cloud his professional judgement, which is based on a strong sense of ethics.

Brian is one of my Pastors.  He's also a diehard Yankees fan living in Maryland, so he immediately has both my camraderie and sympathy as a kindred spirit.  Brian led me through the very painful process of confronting conflict through peacemaking and it was not easy.  He was able to work with me to assess my areas of accountability and keep me focused on Christ and not anger.  Relatively speaking, Brian is a "younger pastor", but he's lived through enough trials on his own that reveal to me his great faith and ability to empathize with others.

Skip is my boss.  Before you accuse me of trying to flatter for personal gain, I'll just tell you why, in just a short time, I know he's one of the best bosses I've ever had.  In my interview (mind you, I'd been a stay at home mom for the last nine years), I told the interview panel that my family is my first priority and that might affect my availability during odd hours and such.  He was visibly affected during the interview.  He didn't say it then, and the tell was but a glimpse, but I saw that he got it.  Afterward, he encouraged me to establish a good work/life balance so my family could come first.  On my first day, he gave me a tour.  He couldn't tell you where we went or which parts of the building I saw (my job is to manage the buildings), but he made a point of introducing me to everyone he saw.  A true people person who is passionate about his organization - right up my alley.

Patrick is my best friend's hubby.  While he does his best to portray a very irritated obnoxious bully, his actions betray him.  He's always been willing to lend a hand, fixed my sump pump and let me borrow tools.  And while he'll nag me and pester me to return his things, I know, that without him admitting it, he's got my back.  He's one of the few of my friends' husbands that will actually chill out with us and join our conversations. 

Bill is another one of my Pastors.  Each quarter, our church has adult Sunday School.  There are three to four classes that you can pick from and it's great to go to Sunday School before church.  No doubt, the other classes are very informative and enriching, but I just go to "Bill's class", regardless of the topic.  It's one of the few classes that has a time of heartfelt sharing and prayer among participants (and coffee and donuts)!  Bill's heart for everyone around him is contagious.  There is no condemnation or judgement, but love and understanding as he shares about the Great Hope he has.

Carl is the Chief Ranger for the Christian Service Brigade, a group for boys to learn about being Godly leaders.  Carl graciously brings my oldest son home every week after their Stockade meeting and takes him along with his boys for an evening jaunt to McD's on the way home.  My son is getting the benefit of seeing a Christian role model who genuinely enjoys my son's zany humor, gazillion questions and amazing intellect.  An esteemed scientist and director of a data mining company, Carl thought it was awesome that my son could intuitively ascertain the pattern of the Fibonacci sequence on a napkin without prompting.  Who knew!?

Glenn is my third Pastor.  Certainly not the least in the bunch, he is the Senior Pastor and works with my other two pastors.  (I'm blessed with three awesome Pastors!)  A confirmed agnostic who found Christ in college, Glenn has a great way of presenting his teachings in a visual way and lifting out amazing nuggets of truth in the Bible.  He is proof that you don't have to check your brains at the door to have faith. 

This is certainly not an all inclusive list, but I have to stop somewhere.  It's awesome to have so many men in my life that have been there for me even though I'm single.  God has shown me in a very touching way that I am not defined by my social status.  I don't have to wait until I "find someone" to be complete.  And, He's guiding me through, with a few angels by my side.


For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11