Easter 2011: His Name is Mark

Easter Lily, a photo by **Mary** on Flickr

I cried when I got the news.  I wasn’t ready for another baby.  I wasn’t ready to add another washing machine to the spin cycle of my life with three other little ones.  After taking the pregnancy test, I wept bitterly and told God that I wasn’t ready for this one.  It was the first time I was not happy about the little blessing growing inside of me.

My world was turned upside down in an instant.  It took about two weeks for the shock to wear off, and in usual tradition, we would tell NO ONE until after the first trimester.  Then, I began to embrace the news.  Yes, I’d have to start all over again with sleepless nights and spit up and diapers.  But, there would be four!  God saw fit to bless me, so I rejoiced in the blessing.  Yes, I was a bit worried that four might be my breaking point, but God knew what He was doing.  My little pumpkin was due November 4^th, a perfect accompaniment for the “biscuit’, my youngest boy.  I was floored that I’d be the mother of four.  I’m pretty sure that he was a boy, but I won’t know for sure until I get to meet him in heaven.

After 11 weeks, I got more devastating news.  Baby was only the size of a 6 week old.  He had not grown for 5 weeks.  It made perfect sense now.  During my pregnancy, I struggled to eat. (Those of you that know me know I love food!) While I didn’t get “morning sickness”, I felt a queasy uneasiness for weeks at a time. 

Did I feel a sense of relief, knowing that I wouldn’t have to start all over again? Not in a million years.  I loved this baby and grieved that I would not be able to see him or get to know him.  It was only 11 weeks, but in that time, I turned my wants and desires to God.  With prayer, I got excited about baby.  Meanwhile, hubby and I talked about long-standing unresolved issues.  We started a new page of dialog in a relationship that had gone dusty and dry with neglect.

A post that really helped me deal with my loss is here.  It’s a bit graphic, but knowing that I was going to go through a miscarriage before it actually happened, I wanted details.  I wanted to know what to expect and the writer’s experience was touching and moving.

 

Thankfully, I was also able to say goodbye in the privacy of home.  As I “birthed” the baby that was not to be, I named him, said goodbye, and thanked God for the precious gift He gave me.  April 20^th, 2011 at 1:55pm is my commemoration, and I decided to name him Mark.  The name is fitting because he left quite an impression on me in his short life.  His name is only one syllable, a break in the usual two-syllable convention I’ve preferred for naming my kids.  Like his short name, Mark’s brief life served a purpose.

I realize even more poignantly what a miraculous gift my three beautiful, healthy children really are.  I envision that as my husband and I made an appointment to see a counselor early in my pregnancy, God called Mark home, telling him that his work here was done. 

Hubby and I are both saddened by the news.  But a spark has started.  A seed has been planted that will allow us to grow and communicate better with each other.  In Mark’s place, our relationship is undergoing a resurrection.  Just as in the Easter Story, I rejoice because while Jesus died, He rose again.  That is the hope that transcends death.

Quick and Easy Homemade Laundry Detergent

After much procrastination and puttering around, I have finally gotten around to making my own homemade laundry detergent.  This project meets The Frugal Writer's stringent criteria:

• It has to be easy to do
• It must save money or time (or both!)
• It should be environmentally friendly, or at least improves conservation
• It must require less than 5 steps and/or 5 ingredients or less
• It must be a project that can be broken down and completed in 15 minute increments

While I can't take credit for concocting the recipe, once I reviewed three different sources saying the same thing, it was time to take action.

My favorite supersized family, The Duggars, make their own laundry detergent, but they devote a day to it and end up with a gooey liquid.  That was out of the question for me because it only met two of the five criteria.  I needed something fast and I wanted something dry, lest I have a castastrophe in my house of whirling dervishes.

Powder was the recipe of choice and I ended up going with Jabs Homemade Laundry Detergent.  The recipe fit all my criteria and I already had a bar of Fels Naptha soap on hand, along with the borax and the washing soda.  When Jabs mentioned the cost savings and the fact that the powder fits well in a 32oz yogurt container, I knew this was a post after my own heart.

Does it work?

I give it a resounding yes!!!!  I have a high energy front loader and I just make sure to put the 1Tbsp of powder in with the clothes so I don't have to worry about clogging.  The detergent is low sudsing and leaves the clothes with a basic, clean scent.  I also wash cloth diapers and the soap is gentle enough for baby's skin but gets the grime out.  The first time I used the homemade detergent with diapers, I forgot to add my vinegar rinse and the diapers still smelled great. 

So there you have it.  I would have done this much sooner if I would have known how easy it is.

A SIMPLE RECIPE
(From Matt Jab's http://diynatural.com/simple-easy-fast-effective-jabs-homemade-laundry-detergent/ blog post)

Each batch yields approximately 32 ounces (between 32-64 loads based on how many Tbsp used per load).

■1 bar of shaved bar soap (Ivory, ZOTE, Fels-Naptha)
■1 cup of borax
■1 cup of washing soda

1. Grate the bar soap.
2. Add the other two ingredients.
3. Stir well (or shake it in your yogurt container....)

That's it!

Believe it or not, Fels Naptha soap is locally available at the HARDWARE store!!!!  I hate to admit that I stumbled across the Fels Naptha last year, while getting babyproofing stuff and left the bar of soap to languish in the laundry room until I stumbled across http://www.diynatural.com/

I just bought more Fels Naptha to make my second batch of detergent.  If I can do it, anybody with a pulse can do it.

A Contrite Heart

This Lenten Season started with a crushing blow.  After many talks and discussions, elevated punishments and shorted patience, we did the unthinkable.  We cancelled the boy’s birthday party which was to happen in a few weeks.  The behavior in school was getting worse and it didn’t seem to phase him one bit.  So, we had to up the ante.  Interestingly, hubby and I talked it over ahead of time and we were both in agreement about it.

At dinner, hubby delivered the news.  The boy’s face mirrored what I felt inside.  He was crestfallen and couldn’t believe it.  He was also speechless, which is indeed a rare sight.  While I was glad that the boy realized the severity of the punishment, it gave me no great joy to administer the sentence. 

That night, it was also Ash Wednesday.  While I am a reformed Presbyterian, as a Catholic growing up, Ash Wednesday and the Lenten Season are sacred traditions that are dear to me, so I wanted to go to an Ash Wednesday service.  The boy, having lost his TV, computer and games privileges was a virtual prisoner in his room.  So, while he wasn’t exactly leaping at the chance to run off to church with me, it afforded us some alone time to get away from the dark mood of the house.

While the boy was sad, I also felt a wrenching grief inside.  Looking back, there would be a conspicuous gap in pictures and birthday memories for 2011.  There would be no fun birthday party with his friends (and my friends, their parents!)  The time that I used to mark my induction into motherhood would also be an unmarked blip in space.  Heck, the birthday party, while it’s something done to honor him, is something important for me as well!

One of the most poignant parts of the evening was when the boy lamented, “I wish I could take back time.  I’d do things better and I’d have my party.”   I said, “You can’t go backward, but you can go forward.  There will be other birthdays and other chances.” 

We trodded off to church with our heavy hearts.  I had already explained that the church service was going to be a solemn event.  There wouldn’t be any joyful singing or carrying on like that.  And yet, the service was a divine blessing for both of us.  While it might have been spooky for the boy to understand that our bodies turn to dust when we die, the sadness of recent events really brought home what Ash Wednesday means to me.

Do I love my son less because I took something away from him and had to punish him?  Certainly not.  In the same way, God sometimes allows bad things to happen to us, or more importantly, to His Son, Jesus, so that we can try to understand the depths of His love for us.  My son will still make mistakes and need correction and forgiveness.  In the meantime, I will never stop loving him, even if he doesn’t “get it”.  God is the same way with us.  Even when we mess up, He is still there to forgive us and guide us, if we let Him do it and get out of our own way.

Zarbee's Giveaway Winner!!!!

I am happy to announce that Gloria Beach-Popp (www.twitter.com/XmasSpode) of Angels Camp, CA is the winner of the Zarbee's All Natural Children's Cough Syrup!!!  Gloria successfully met all the easy requirements of the contest and will be getting a free bottle of this wonderful natural remedy.

You can read my review here.

Gloria, congratulations again on winning this giveaway!  Please be sure to either DM me on Twitter, inbox me on Facebook with your contact info so we can send the Zarbee's your way!

IKEA Visit on President's Day

 

While building my IKEA storage cabinets, I needed a level.  I'm really starting to love my iPhone....

We had a great visit to my favorite furniture store, complete with the boy and the girl making their rounds in Smaland.  You should have seen hubby, the biscuit and I work the store and get all the stuff on our shopping list for the hour that we had.  Oh, and we all got to eat at the restaurant for free since we spent over $100 on our cabinets.  We love IKEA, especially when school is out!  Not too shabby....

Review & Giveaway: Zarbee's All-Natural Children's Cough Syrup

Mothers of little ones know all too well the struggle of soothing kids with coughs and colds.  Fortunately, there is an option available for preschoolers called Zarbee's All-Natural Children's Cough Syrup. 

We had the chance to personally try out this product and it has three significant advantages:

• You can safely give this syrup to babies that are 12 months old.  Most manufacturers recommend using their product if the child is older than two years of age.
• The ingredients are all-natural, based on a proprietary mix of honey, vitamins and immunity boosters.  You can feel confident that this is a safe remedy to try out which will not react with other medicines.
• It is available at larger pharmacies and retailers, such as Walgreen's, Wegmann's and Weis.

The syrup is fairly thick so it may be better to use a dosing syringe for little ones.  We tried the grape flavor and while it is a little tart, there is no chemical taste and it was easy going down.

The big question is, does it work?  I can definitely give a resounding thumbs up.  My six year old woke up complaining of a sore throat one morning, so I gave him the syrup.  It was a bit sour for him (he might prefer the cherry flavor, over the grape), but Zarbee's soothed his throat immediately.  He went to school and didn't complain once about a sore throat again.

My little 17month old eyed the medicine and since he had a little cough, I decided to try it with him as well.  The grape was a bit tart for his taste, but using a syringe, I was able to slow down the amount that he swallowed and it did provide relief.

The Frugal Writer loves to save money, so I'm pleased to tell you that you can get a $1 off coupon right from the Zarbee's website.

My results are unscientific at best, but you can have a shot at trying this remedy out for yourself with my Free Giveaway of a 4oz bottle.

Here's how to enter:

1. Like Zarbee's on Facebook
2. Like The Frugal Writer on Facebook
3. Follow The Frugal Writer on Twitter
4. Add your link using the Mister Linky widget below and leave a comment here confirming actions 1-3 and and why you'd like a sample of Zarbee's.  
5. Send an email with your email or contact information to mar4jc at verizon dot net

The winner, chosen at random, will be picked and announced on (giveaway extended!) Monday, February 28th, here, on Twitter and on Facebook.
Best wishes!

Disclaimer:  I was not paid for this product and only received a sample to provide this review.

Quick Tips: Fast Cooking in the Kitchen

Here are some fast cooking tips that you can use right when you are in the thick of attempting to get dinner done.

1. When pressed for time, cut whatever you are cooking into smaller pieces.  Meats, potatoes, etc, cook much faster when the pieces are small.  This is the reason why stir fry foods cook so fast.

2. Ground meat always makes a great meal fast.  Even if it's frozen, you can still quickly brown it while cooking pasta for a quick, filling meal in about a half hour.

3.  Still in a rush?  Use a lid to cook foods faster and retain moisture.  This saves time and energy because the lid traps heat that continues to help cook the covered food.

4. Need to thicken something that came out too watery?  Just add a bit of flour or cornstarch.  This will absorb extra fluid and can give a dish a nice, creamy texture.

If you want more cooking inspiration, check out my Ten Fast and Easy Cooking Tips.